Apr 3, 2010
winter retreat (unedited)
awake hours before dawn
and deep in to the night
the low sun passes over the snow
and every day the wind rearranges the drifts
covering my footprints in the field
while I sit on my cushion, wrapped in blankets and breathe
owls hooting outside my window
which I have opened, despite the cold
just to get a little more crisp air--
when you have time to smell it for hours
you realize just how starving you are
for every breath
I got lost in the snow, once
dazzled by the beauty of a hemlock tree
it was so, so quiet
and so in the quiet I tried an experiment --
what if you only had one more day to live?
it turns out,
that in the face of an imagined death
(less wrenching than the real thing, but still, I made an effort)
I love the blazing sweetness of sunlight
and the warmth of a lovely thought
and every breath turns out to be so overwhelmingly...
...wanted
it made me realize that when I convince myself that
our lives are too complex,
our existence too manufactured and removed from nature,
our purposes impossible to believe in,
it is just that I have momentarily forgotten
that everything in this world was made
to help people be juuuust that much more comfortable
so that they might be juuuust that much more joyful
oh, and we do get it wrong
but it's just so quaint and lovable
that we try at all --
it cures me
and deep in to the night
the low sun passes over the snow
and every day the wind rearranges the drifts
covering my footprints in the field
while I sit on my cushion, wrapped in blankets and breathe
owls hooting outside my window
which I have opened, despite the cold
just to get a little more crisp air--
when you have time to smell it for hours
you realize just how starving you are
for every breath
I got lost in the snow, once
dazzled by the beauty of a hemlock tree
it was so, so quiet
and so in the quiet I tried an experiment --
what if you only had one more day to live?
it turns out,
that in the face of an imagined death
(less wrenching than the real thing, but still, I made an effort)
I love the blazing sweetness of sunlight
and the warmth of a lovely thought
and every breath turns out to be so overwhelmingly...
...wanted
it made me realize that when I convince myself that
our lives are too complex,
our existence too manufactured and removed from nature,
our purposes impossible to believe in,
it is just that I have momentarily forgotten
that everything in this world was made
to help people be juuuust that much more comfortable
so that they might be juuuust that much more joyful
oh, and we do get it wrong
but it's just so quaint and lovable
that we try at all --
it cures me
Feb 20, 2010
Valentine
Blustery day on Nahant - clouds rolling in, air salty, birds wheeling overhead
A few days later, a different beach (Crane's), unseasonable warm and windless, walking through deep, soft dunes and admiring craggy trees and the utter blue of the ocean
A few days later, a different beach (Crane's), unseasonable warm and windless, walking through deep, soft dunes and admiring craggy trees and the utter blue of the ocean
Feb 7, 2010
home-made bagels and hummus
Step 1. Make, rise and cut dough. It looks just like regular bread dough, but it's a little denser, and it contains a bit of honey.
Step 2. Shape dough in to a bagel shape.
Step 3. Put bagels in boiling, sugared water.
Step 4. Flip bagels.
Step 5. Drain bagels on towel.
Step 6. Put toppings on bagels!
Step 7. Bake bagels! First one side, then the other.
Step 8. Make delicious hummus.
Step 9. Make delicious sandwich. (Too bad we couldn't grow the veggies, too!)
Step 2. Shape dough in to a bagel shape.
Step 3. Put bagels in boiling, sugared water.
Step 4. Flip bagels.
Step 5. Drain bagels on towel.
Step 6. Put toppings on bagels!
Step 7. Bake bagels! First one side, then the other.
Step 8. Make delicious hummus.
Step 9. Make delicious sandwich. (Too bad we couldn't grow the veggies, too!)
exiting the cycle
When we moved in to our apartment, we didn't own much. Or rather, we owned a lot, but not enough. It was sort of depressing, actually. We had boxes of clothes, books and music, school papers, art supplies and projects, sentimental odds and ends, and electronics that filled a large sedan - but no pots or pans, cutlery, plates or bowls, bed, mattress, couch, chairs, table, kitchen tools, shelves, bedding, dressers, towels, sheets, lamps... In short, we had almost none of the items required to live on our own. It made me feel rather guilty at first, owning so many boxes of books of THINGS and still needing more. In fact, for our first few days in our apartment, we sat on the hardwood floor and read books, ate peanut butter sandwiches made elsewhere, and purchased only one thing: a roll of toilet paper. And for the first few months, every time I walked out of the kitchen and left the stove, pans and tools unused, I felt terrible - a whole room full of useful things was being wasted. No two people need a kitchen entirely to themselves.
You see, coming from co-op life, we had shared almost everything for 4 years. Every chair, pan, and screwdriver was used nearly constantly by a community of 30 people. This made a lot of sense. We had everything we needed, and despite every item being shared, there was rarely a shortage of anything. Something about not personally owning so many possessions was freeing - I could easily account for everything I owned, and if necessary, I could pick it all up at once. Keeping track of possessions is actually stressful, and we had been free from that stress.
But it's not possible to live in a student co-op forever, and so we had to move on. With both of us headed for full-time graduate school, we needed a way to live that was relatively easy and convenient, so extreme living situations were out of the question. But neither were we enthusiastic about jumping in to the consumer world. We knew we were about to buy a lot of things - more things than either of us had ever bought or even owned. It was unavoidable, even as we did our best to look for second-hand goods, especially given our personal standards for construction materials (no formaldehyde, no pressed wood, no toxic stains or varnishes, etc) We were wary of joining the ranks of people who buy what is cheapest and most convenient, throw things away when they inevitably break, and buy new and better things as consumer culture dictates as soon as they are able. It looked like a trap, and we didn't want to get caught. We wanted a better way.
So we agonized over what to buy. We created spreadsheets and webpages. Whiteboards and scraps of paper were covered with ideas. We consulted relatives and friends. We searched the internet for weeks. In the end, we came up with a list of purchases that we thought would be sufficient, comfortable, and ethical. In our final spreadsheet, every item was accompanied by an explanation of why we needed it and how we would acquire it, even things like kitchen knives and sheets. A few items were given to us as gifts. Many we bought second hand from other people in the Boston area. For the rest, we found small retailers specializing in ethically and/or organically produced goods. Many were in the Northeast, and some were even within Boston. We didn't buy any "starter" items - only things we hoped to be able to keep forever. Although not everybody has the luxury of being able to make such purchases, it is far less expensive than one might think, when you carefully consider which purchases are actually necessary.
To some extent, the shock of owning so many things has worn off over the last several months. I no longer feel guilty when I leave the kitchen unused. But sometimes, I try to call that feeling back... even though we tried our best to make long-lasting, ethical choices, it's all too easy to get used to owning so many things, and I *know* it isn't necessary. Someday, I hope we'll be able to share more of our things, generate more of our own energy, and live more lightly in all ways.
You see, coming from co-op life, we had shared almost everything for 4 years. Every chair, pan, and screwdriver was used nearly constantly by a community of 30 people. This made a lot of sense. We had everything we needed, and despite every item being shared, there was rarely a shortage of anything. Something about not personally owning so many possessions was freeing - I could easily account for everything I owned, and if necessary, I could pick it all up at once. Keeping track of possessions is actually stressful, and we had been free from that stress.
But it's not possible to live in a student co-op forever, and so we had to move on. With both of us headed for full-time graduate school, we needed a way to live that was relatively easy and convenient, so extreme living situations were out of the question. But neither were we enthusiastic about jumping in to the consumer world. We knew we were about to buy a lot of things - more things than either of us had ever bought or even owned. It was unavoidable, even as we did our best to look for second-hand goods, especially given our personal standards for construction materials (no formaldehyde, no pressed wood, no toxic stains or varnishes, etc) We were wary of joining the ranks of people who buy what is cheapest and most convenient, throw things away when they inevitably break, and buy new and better things as consumer culture dictates as soon as they are able. It looked like a trap, and we didn't want to get caught. We wanted a better way.
So we agonized over what to buy. We created spreadsheets and webpages. Whiteboards and scraps of paper were covered with ideas. We consulted relatives and friends. We searched the internet for weeks. In the end, we came up with a list of purchases that we thought would be sufficient, comfortable, and ethical. In our final spreadsheet, every item was accompanied by an explanation of why we needed it and how we would acquire it, even things like kitchen knives and sheets. A few items were given to us as gifts. Many we bought second hand from other people in the Boston area. For the rest, we found small retailers specializing in ethically and/or organically produced goods. Many were in the Northeast, and some were even within Boston. We didn't buy any "starter" items - only things we hoped to be able to keep forever. Although not everybody has the luxury of being able to make such purchases, it is far less expensive than one might think, when you carefully consider which purchases are actually necessary.
To some extent, the shock of owning so many things has worn off over the last several months. I no longer feel guilty when I leave the kitchen unused. But sometimes, I try to call that feeling back... even though we tried our best to make long-lasting, ethical choices, it's all too easy to get used to owning so many things, and I *know* it isn't necessary. Someday, I hope we'll be able to share more of our things, generate more of our own energy, and live more lightly in all ways.
Jun 15, 2009
chestnut farms open barn
This weekend, a crew from pika headed over to Chestnut Farms, the farm from which pika buys meat, via a CSA.
About 6 months ago, after some serious research, I signed pika up to receive 40 pounds of meat every month from the farm. Given that I'm a very committed vegetarian, this may seem like a strange move. But since I live in a house of 30 people, about 50% of whom eat meat, and since we're a co-op, my housebill is used, in part, to purchase meat. Because of that, and because of my concern for animal welfare everywhere, regardless of whether or not I make any financial contribution, it made sense to try to work out a system that both made the omnivores happy and addressed some of my concerns.
Chestnut Farms was recommended to me by some old friends, and looking at their website and speaking to the owner on the phone convinced me it was a good farm. But I still wanted to see it for myself, and I felt I had some responsiblity to make sure that the deal I got pika in to was a really good one. It was somewhat sad to be there, knowing that all the animals I was playing with would end up butchered and shrink-wrapped in a big freezer in the basement. But that's the way things really are, and even for me and other vegetarians, I think it's important to see.
Overall, I was very impressed with Chestnut Farms. The cows and sheep frolicked in large pastures, the calves were not separated from their mothers, the pigs had a huge mud pit and field to play in (except for the pregnant sows, who each had their own "spa pen" in which to give birth), the chickens lived in a very large pen, in which sat a full-size school bus, converted in to a chicken-coop-on-wheels... It looked pretty idyllic. The owner, Kim Denney, took a great deal of time to explain how the animals are raised and handled, and the many steps that the farm takes to take care of the land properly and ensure that the animals are happy. She was unfazed and unoffended by the fact that 3 out of the 5 pikans visiting the farm were actually vegetarian.
The adult sows live in a very large pen that is partially a field and partially a large puddle/mud pit. All of the pigs were hanging out in the mud pit looking very happy. Pigs like mud because they don't sweat, so the must have mud on them in order to keep cool. The sows were actually remarkably friendly and gentle - they came right over to say hello to me, and they made all kinds of noise when petted and spoken to.
The rooster, crowing.
The sheep were the least entertaining of all the animals. They lived in a nice big field, didn't like people very much, and ran away when we tried to get close.
The chickens live in this large pen. Their nesting boxes are in the school bus, which actually still works - the farm drives it to a new location every now and then so the chickens don't mess up the land too much. (There are actually 2 school buses, each in its own pen.) Some of the chickens had been debeaked, but not all of them. This concerned me, so I asked about it, and it turns out that normally they don't have debeaked chickens, but they got some recently from a supplier that does debeak. :(
Chestnut Farms didn't used to have goats. All of the ones they have now are male "rescue goats". Male goats are not valued in the dairy industry because, of course, they give no milk, so male kids are usually clubbed to death at birth. Chestnut Farms got their goats from a neighboring goat dairy and they are now being raised for meat. Apparently goat meat is now in demand as people broaden their palettes and learn about ethnic food.
These are the cows in their pasture. They were pretty active, running all over the place. There were lots of babies left in the mix. The rubble in the foreground is from the old abandoned barn that fell apart when the current owners bought the farm - they have rebuilt a very nice, larger barn.
These were the hardest animals for me to visit.... this year's Thanksgiving turkeys (poults). Although nearly all the animals we saw on the farm were destined to be eaten, knowing exactly when nearly all of these birds would be roasted and eaten somehow made it worse. Especially when I got to hold one.
The piglets are really, really adorable. They're pretty shy, but if you stay in their pen for a few minutes they get curious and come over to sniff your hand and nibble on your pants.
Pictures, except for the last picture of the brown piglet (taken by me), by Brian Kardon.
About 6 months ago, after some serious research, I signed pika up to receive 40 pounds of meat every month from the farm. Given that I'm a very committed vegetarian, this may seem like a strange move. But since I live in a house of 30 people, about 50% of whom eat meat, and since we're a co-op, my housebill is used, in part, to purchase meat. Because of that, and because of my concern for animal welfare everywhere, regardless of whether or not I make any financial contribution, it made sense to try to work out a system that both made the omnivores happy and addressed some of my concerns.
Chestnut Farms was recommended to me by some old friends, and looking at their website and speaking to the owner on the phone convinced me it was a good farm. But I still wanted to see it for myself, and I felt I had some responsiblity to make sure that the deal I got pika in to was a really good one. It was somewhat sad to be there, knowing that all the animals I was playing with would end up butchered and shrink-wrapped in a big freezer in the basement. But that's the way things really are, and even for me and other vegetarians, I think it's important to see.
Overall, I was very impressed with Chestnut Farms. The cows and sheep frolicked in large pastures, the calves were not separated from their mothers, the pigs had a huge mud pit and field to play in (except for the pregnant sows, who each had their own "spa pen" in which to give birth), the chickens lived in a very large pen, in which sat a full-size school bus, converted in to a chicken-coop-on-wheels... It looked pretty idyllic. The owner, Kim Denney, took a great deal of time to explain how the animals are raised and handled, and the many steps that the farm takes to take care of the land properly and ensure that the animals are happy. She was unfazed and unoffended by the fact that 3 out of the 5 pikans visiting the farm were actually vegetarian.
The adult sows live in a very large pen that is partially a field and partially a large puddle/mud pit. All of the pigs were hanging out in the mud pit looking very happy. Pigs like mud because they don't sweat, so the must have mud on them in order to keep cool. The sows were actually remarkably friendly and gentle - they came right over to say hello to me, and they made all kinds of noise when petted and spoken to.
The rooster, crowing.
The sheep were the least entertaining of all the animals. They lived in a nice big field, didn't like people very much, and ran away when we tried to get close.
The chickens live in this large pen. Their nesting boxes are in the school bus, which actually still works - the farm drives it to a new location every now and then so the chickens don't mess up the land too much. (There are actually 2 school buses, each in its own pen.) Some of the chickens had been debeaked, but not all of them. This concerned me, so I asked about it, and it turns out that normally they don't have debeaked chickens, but they got some recently from a supplier that does debeak. :(
Chestnut Farms didn't used to have goats. All of the ones they have now are male "rescue goats". Male goats are not valued in the dairy industry because, of course, they give no milk, so male kids are usually clubbed to death at birth. Chestnut Farms got their goats from a neighboring goat dairy and they are now being raised for meat. Apparently goat meat is now in demand as people broaden their palettes and learn about ethnic food.
These are the cows in their pasture. They were pretty active, running all over the place. There were lots of babies left in the mix. The rubble in the foreground is from the old abandoned barn that fell apart when the current owners bought the farm - they have rebuilt a very nice, larger barn.
These were the hardest animals for me to visit.... this year's Thanksgiving turkeys (poults). Although nearly all the animals we saw on the farm were destined to be eaten, knowing exactly when nearly all of these birds would be roasted and eaten somehow made it worse. Especially when I got to hold one.
The piglets are really, really adorable. They're pretty shy, but if you stay in their pen for a few minutes they get curious and come over to sniff your hand and nibble on your pants.Pictures, except for the last picture of the brown piglet (taken by me), by Brian Kardon.
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